Can’t I just be lazy and fat? HMM?
Okay, so, look… I’m super lazy. And I’m super hard on myself. I’ve noticed that if I at least do 30 minutes of a “workout” a day, my anxiety is under control, I’m less likely to LOSE MY MIND with my child, and I don’t binge as much. I also am less likely to beat myself up at the end of the day. I’m less likely to tell myself that I’m a failure.
So I’ve made it my goal to do something for AT LEAST 30 minutes every day this week. I started on Sunday, and now I’m on day 5! And let me tell you, I feel like crap today. The doc switched up my depression/anxiety meds and it’s making me a bit nauseous. The meds were making me gain weight and I was getting a tad more hostile than usual… but I still did it. I took Sexy Rexy (aka Rex Manning. aka P.I.T.A) on a 40 minute walk. I skipped my strength exercises today, but GET OFF MY BACK.
My workouts are messy… meaning I just do what feels great to me. I usually do 30-60 minutes of cardio (walking or elliptical) and then I do an arm/ab/leg workout (depending on the day). When I had decided to do the gastric bypass surgery, we joined a gym and an awesome worker there helped me learn how to do proper workouts. Yet, I’m still no expert. Sometimes I watch YouTube videos, or I find plans on Pinterest. I am forever changing what I’m doing so that I don’t get bored… and I do get bored easily. EASILY.
I am learning to not place my self-worth on the number on the scale. Instead, I’m trying to place my self-worth on my general health. Am I trying? Am I taking care of myself? Am I beating myself up? Am I feeling good? I’ll tell you what, both of those full body mirror pictures above made me feel good. I thought I looked good. I DO look good.
So what do I listen to when I workout? I’m probably the only person that still listens to Pandora. And on top of that, I listen to the Fall Out Boy station. Man, that plays FOB, Panic! at the Disco, Sum41, Blink-182, Three Days Grace, and just so much more. They all have a perfect workout beat for me.
So what’s your workout like? What do you listen to? Let me know! Are you struggling to feel worthy outside of the scale? You’re not alone. You’re worthy outside of the scale, I promise. So worthy.
[Now you can find ‘messyworthiness’ on Instagram and Twitter!]
ps. When my friend Katie asked if I was blogging right now, I answered, “Yeah, about how much I hate you.” So, you know, I HATE YOU, KATIE.