No, but like…really. Some kind of cult of tiny satanic children whose goal it is to see their parents on the news. I think they get together and look like they’re playing with Legos, but really they’re forming plans on how to drive us slowly insane and take over our world with their evil plans. No? Don’t believe me? Mmkay.
I don’t know how moms survive without other mom friends to tell them that their child isn’t the only psycho in town. I met these two women when our 3 boys all started the same MDO program at 2 years old. We’ve had this group chat going for a while and I don’t know what I would do without them. It’s nice to have other moms that parent the same as you that can help you figure out what to do and vent your frustrations without judgement.
I saw this article going around that was titled something like, “I don’t want a tribe of mom friends”… or whatever. Point being, that a mom group just wasn’t for them. Which, like, whatever make you happy, lady. But don’t sign me up for that. I can’t live in a world where I don’t have a tribe of women being like, “No, dude, my kid set his school cafeteria on fire too!” I MEAN, RIGHT? Like, I need my kid to have a friend in jail. Otherwise we’re all screwed.
I have this memory of a time when I got in trouble [shocking, I know, I’m perfect]. I do not at all remember what it was that I did, but I remember my mom taking my boombox and tapes/cds away. Not only did she take them away, y’all, but she put them RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR so that I could see them, but not use them. WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THAT?
I would have never survived as a new mom either. If you’re drowning as a new parent, REACH OUT to another parent. I swear we will all say, “BEEN THERE, YOU’LL SURVIVE!”. Well, unless your only other parent friend is some kind of queen with a staff of people helping. Then they probably don’t know. Also, probably maybe get some less exciting friends. Maybe go to a McDonald’s or a Chickfila. You’ll feel better all around, I’m sure.
That being said, today was day one of taking all the dyes/pre-packaged foods out of my tiny terror’s diet. Pray that this is something that will make a difference around here. OR I MIGHT JUST COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND HYSTERICALLY CRY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. And I promise, I’m an ugly crier. I’ll update you on how that goes, because I know you’ll be waiting on the edge of your seats.