Listen, I’ve thought about writing this post for a very long time. I didn’t, because I know it can be taken the very wrong way and I don’t want that. In no way am I saying that you shouldn’t sell what you believe in or do what makes you happy. That is definitely not what I’m saying. What I am saying, is that you selling your happiness to me gives me hives.
Here’s the thing, I’ve been known to buy Pampered Chef and stuff. Heck, I’ve even thrown a Pampered Chef party (like 7 years ago, calm down). But those were the days before these Facebook groups I just get added to against my will. Also, the personal messages I get sent disguised as an old friend wanting to see what I’ve been up to, but before I can even send my response to the question, “How are you?”, I’ve already received a follow up message that’s trying to sell me something.
I get it, man. You have a family to provide for and you are killing it out there in the world. That’s really awesome, I’m proud of you. Really, I am. But the thought of being sold something gives me extreme anxiety. Not even just your nail wraps, girl. The random middle of the aisle mall kiosk people make me power walk faster than I do at the gym to get the hell away before they’ve even said hello. I KNOW THEY’RE JUST DOING THEIR JOB. I don’t know why it stresses me out.
That’s a lie. I know it’s because I’m a people pleaser. I’m also poor. So when someone is aggressively trying to sell me a $50 lipstick, I stress out over having to tell them no. Not because I’m embarrassed I’m poor, but because I know they’re trying hard and I’m about to crush their dreams. The only person’s dreams I am comfortable crushing are my child’s.
You should see me at a car dealership. Oh man, that’s a whole ‘nother level. [MadTV, anyone?] Because if I’m at a car dealership, it’s because I need a car. Therefore, I have no out. I start to have a panic attack because I know that you can talk me into circles as to why I have no excuse not to purchase the overpriced car you’re trying to sell me. I need a car, you’re selling a car. So basically I’m screwed into buying this car because I’m too terrified to argue with you. [don’t even begin to come at me with cars for sale, I HAVE A PERFECTLY CRAPPY ONE ALREADY.]
So basically what I’m saying is, if you must try to do your business then just invite me to an event on Facebook so I can quietly decline the offer and go about my day. If I’m interested, I will come to you. I WILL, I PROMISE. My friend Amanda sells Wildtree and I’m willing to bet she’s made more money off of me than any other customer.
I was invited to like 4 Wildtree parties prior to the one I actually went to. I turned them all down. But finally I was like, you know what? I’m ready to try. So the 5th invite I said yes. And you know what I did? I cried on the way to the party because I was so terrified she was going to aggressively sell me something while I was there. Isn’t that ridiculous? I know it is, but I can’t help it. But she didn’t. And so I was comfortable.
You people who send weirdly aggressive personal Facebook messages are the WORST. Again, I get it, but you are the WORST for people like me. Because I know you can see I read your message. Oh man, my heart is pounding just writing about it. It isn’t even happening right now. GOODNESS.
POINT BEING: Don’t be offended if I ignore your invite, message, or group. I promise I’m not trying to be a jerk. I’m just trying to not have a weird panic attack, mmkay? Please still love me.
Is anyone else like this? Or is everyone else able to just say no like a regular human being? Maybe lie to me if you have to.