Other possible titles include, but not limited to:
Why does my child hate me?
Can I hire someone to feed him?
Green Giant is a liar.
Hell, I didn’t even like them.
Okay so… hi. Today’s going GREAT. [crickets chirping in background]
So let me start by saying, I didn’t shove anything down anyone’s throat. So I should get some kind of sticker for my restraint. We’ve entered the forever-long phase of my child now being able to sniff out a vegetable like a dang bloodhound. But the Hubs and I were in HEB and we were like “OMG LOOK AT THIS WONDERFUL INVENTION!”.
I highlighted the sign in the picture because how nice of it to tell me that “With God all things are possible”, while I serve these to my tater tot loving child with a beautiful smile on my face. I was full of joy and cheer and you know what?
HE RIPPED IT ALL AWAY FROM ME.
Kiddo: [takes a bite]
Me: MMMM!!! [creepy smile, deep stare] YOU LOVE TATER TOTS!
Kiddo: That’s not a tater tot.
Me: Yes it is!
Kiddo: No. It’s not. It’s gross.
Well, excellent. That went well. Also, he’s right… they weren’t great. [dramatic flailing]
So, after that fiasco, my child got placed into a bathtub. Because apparently even though the tots were gross, the ketchup that accompanied them was delicious. And while he was flailing around like Sharknado 75, I walked by his wildly messy bedroom:
Now listen, don’t you for one minute judge me. I don’t make my child clean up his room every day. Do I make him clean up the rest of his toys from the other parts of the house before bed? Yes. Do I make him clean up his own room? No. Why? He’s four. He wants to live in filth, then fine. FINE. Because I’m picking my battles, y’all. And if that means he face-plants into the floor because Stinky Trashtruck [I still hate you for that, KC] was in the way, then so be it. It was his choice not to clean it up. Also, my room is a mess too, if we’re being honest. SO GET OFF MY BACK. [I’m starting to notice I say that pretty much in every post….]
So anyways, I just loudly sighed and was like, “My life is a mess.” And then after I put him to bed I walked by one of my favorite signs we have on our walls:
Which is just… the perfect description of our house. Also, I then shoved a pretzel covered in Nutella in my face. So, you know, we survived another day.
YES, THAT’S NUTELLA ALL OVER MY TEETH. GAH.
Anyways, that’s what’s going on over here. How’s your mess going?