Hi, guys. How’s it going?
I have to be honest, lately I’ve been going through something pretty heavy. Well, I have been going through this thing pretty much my whole life, but now I’m finally taking the steps to tackle it. I’m finally owning that it is truly an issue and truly something that I need help with. It’s out of control. I’m talking about my eating disorder. Now, I’m not quite ready to go into detail on here. I want to, but I’m just not ready yet. I want to share my story. I know I don’t have to, but I want to. I’m just not there yet. So pray that I am truly able to conquer this and that I gain the courage to share.
All that being said, I’ve been sort of falling apart quietly over here. I’ve leaned on some friends and my husband to keep me going, but some days just aren’t great. Yesterday I finally saw a sweet, great friend that I haven’t physically seen in months. Many months. We Skype every once in a while, she lives an hour away, but I hadn’t seen her since November in person. Finally I got to see her last night and meet her brand new baby! She immediately started spoiling me with things that will spark my creativity. This sweet friend and I share a love, unhealthy love, of scrapbooking stuffs and really we are the only insane people we both know that are as out of control as we are. Heck, she even has a YouTube where you can watch her and her creations! (Which I’m a little obsessed with. She’s so dang cute.) Anyways, she has this wonderful space upstairs in her house dedicated to her creativity and I’m so jealous. I really need to redo my office and make it more friendly for all I want to do. But anyways, she knows how I’ve been hurting and she just started throwing supplies at me.
It went a little something like this:
Alyssa: Take this, and this, and some of these…
Me: No, dude, these are yours. You bought them for you. I can go buy some.
Alyssa: I didn’t ask you. Shut up.
Me: OH MY GAAAHHH STAAAHHHHPPP.
Alyssa: AND YOU NEED THESE!!!
Alyssa: SHUT UP. OH LOOK! MORE OF THESE!!
You know, so it’s a super healthy friendship.
But you know what? She’s amazing. I love her and she gets me. She gets me so much and she’s basically a mess like me. That’s right, I said it.
I got home from her house at around 10pm and I dived right into scrapping. It was just what I needed. I even did some journaling to Josiah. Something I haven’t done since he turned four. My heart sang.
So point being – you need someone who knows just what you need sometimes. Someone who is like, “Dude, both our lives are falling apart. So hey, take all this free crap that I secretly already hoard. I even have a big box to put it all in. And like, do what you gotta do, mmkay?”
And honestly, if you don’t have that person and you just want to spill your guts to someone, you can totally spill your guts to me. Because chances are, I’m there too.
Thanks for loving me, y’all.