Listen up, people. I’m the smartest, most helpful person you will ever meet. (and most humble) And I am here to share with you some of the knowledge that I’ve come to know in all my 31 years, so that hopefully you can save yourself some time, sound good? GREAT. Let’s begin:
- Usually when you don’t like someone for “no reason”, it’s usually because you’re jealous about something they have.
- I am extremely guilty of this. I tend to not like people who are funnier than me (as if), who are richer than me (everyone), or who have a life outside of Netflix (huh?). When asked why I don’t like them, the only reason I can come up with is “They give off a bad vibe”. Yeah, no. It’s me, alllllll me. I’m a jerk.
- You can’t make anyone be anything they’re not.
- You can’t make a parent be the parent you want them to be. You can’t make your kid be the person you want them to be. You can’t make a friend be the kind of friend you want them to be. You can’t make someone care about something they don’t. You can’t make your spouse be the perfect spouse. People are who they are and you can’t change them. You shouldn’t be crying over someone who isn’t who you want them to be. You shouldn’t be putting all your energy into trying to change someone. It’s okay to be selfish in those situations. It’s okay to focus on making yourself the person YOU want to be.
- Who you were in high school has nothing to do with real life.
- You were prom queen? Great. You had a thousand friends? Aren’t you lucky? You made straight A’s in all of your classes and made it into Harvard and you are just the most amazing person in the world? Awesome. But listen… the world doesn’t care. All the world cares about is if you’re a generally decent person or not. Can you take a joke? Are you a friendly person today? Do you shower regularly? Fantastic. Because that’s all that really matters in life. No one cares if you were prom queen. Seriously, no one but you. I mean, great for you, but like… now what? Why waste all that time stressing about popularity? More than half those people won’t be around after you graduate anyway… which leads me to my next point…
- Most of the people you knew in high school you’ll never speak to outside of social media again.
- Like, really. There are people who were my “best friend forever” that I couldn’t even tell you what city they live in today. Hell, they could live down the street and I wouldn’t know. Don’t stress about collecting a million friends, all that matters is who your real friends are. Who is left standing when real life hits? (more on this later)
- Parenting is hard. Like…really hard.
- Kids are all different people. None of them are 100% the same. And what works for one kid might not work for another. There’s literally no way to know until you get there. (SOUNDS FUN, RIGHT?)
- Everything is a phase. Sure, when one phase is over a new one starts, but let’s not focus on that right now.
- You’re the one who knows what is best for your child. You. You’re the parent. Tell everyone else to just back off.
- It’s okay to ask for help.
- Let me repeat: IT’S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP. This works on many levels. This works if you just had a baby, or a family member died, or if you’re just having a crappy day. It’s okay to ask for someone to help you. Chances are there’s someone like me just waiting for you to be like OMG TAKE THIS FROM ME. And I’ll be like, MMKAY WANT ICE CREAM ON THE SIDE? I remember being at a restaurant with my mom and my MIL and my screaming 1.5 year old. I just started crying because I was so emotionally drained and just couldn’t listen to my child cry anymore. They both stared at me like, why aren’t you asking us to help you? Why are you trying to do it all on your own? Just stop, ask for help.
- It’s also okay to ACCEPT help.
- That’s right. I don’t care what your parents taught you, it’s really okay to accept the help. I’ve watched people be offered help they need and be like, “No, it’s really okay. I don’t want to impose.” Like, girl take the free casserole this lady cooked you and shove it in your face. Oh you want to babysit my kid so I can take a shower? By all means. Keep him for a few hours, whatever man.
- It’s absolutely okay to only have one or two really close friends.
- I used to think that the more people I had close to me, the better. I would cry over friendships and wonder why people kept leaving me. I would constantly be asking someone to hang out and they wouldn’t be making the effort to do the same with me. And y’all, I’m so dang done with one-sided friendships. Sooooo done. And you don’t need a bunch of close friends. Put all your time and energy into the ones you want to be old people with and then just have a casual friendship with the rest. It’s okay to have a bunch of friends, but don’t rely on them to be with you through everything. Everyone can’t be everyone else’s BFF and that’s okay. Focus on the ones who are making an effort just as much as you are, they’re who you’re meant to be with.
Honestly… I could keep going here. For a long time. So, I think I shall make this a series. I don’t want to overwhelm you with all this precious knowledge I’m giving you. I need to give you some time to make notes and find a safe place to put them, preferably a fireproof safe.
And you know what? I even have advice from other people to share. I reached out to my millions (hundred-something) Facebook & Instagram followers and here’s what some had to say: (click on pics to enlarge)
So there you have it. You’re welcome. You just got life knowledge from a hot mess. So, that should be proof that you should listen to what I learned because maybe that’ll save you from being your own mess. Although, the point of this blog is to make it okay to be a mess…. okay, where was I going with this?
What else would you add?