Where Do I Hire a 1900s-style Sleuth?

Mmkay. Let’s discuss how I’m slowly going insane. Which, I mean I’m naturally already halfway there, so I really have no time to waste around here.

Today is Saturday. On Thursday I ate some pretzels with Nutella. When I had enough, I put the Nutella and the pretzels back in the pantry. Friday comes and I want the same little snack.

I can find the Nutella. I cannot find the pretzels. I move everything in the pantry around while muttering some very hostile language that probably wasn’t necessary during a hunt for a bag of pretzels, but what’s done is done. I CANNOT FIND THE PRETZELS. I decide to walk away and consider Googling how to hire Scooby-Doo to come figure out how a bag of pretzels vanishes into thin air.

Today I had a long day. I had a two birthday parties to take my child to and I am exhausted. I’ve also done my work for the night, done the dishes, and a load of laundry. I’M TIRED AND I WANT NUTELLA. So, in a fit of rage I take everything out of the pantry in hopes of finding a bag of pretzels that I’m positive are in there.

I CANNOT FIND THE &*&^#*%$( PRETZELS.

So, I replace everything back into the pantry with a wild amount of hostility and begin to search for another snack. Y’all…. Y’ALL. The damn pretzels are… right… right in front of my face. I don’t… I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

The chip-clip says, “Chips are my favorite kind of crunches… if you were wondering.)

Whatever, I grab my pretzels and go to grab the Nutella….

And yep, you guessed it. I can’t find it. I then, at 10:30pm, shout WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, GOD? And He replied, “Do you think I have nothing better to do?”

But I found it, don’t worry. And now I’m happy.

But also like… a little scared for my future.

MMKAY SUPER STOKED YOU READ THAT POINTLESS STORY! KBYYYYEEE

xo
TAB