Posted in Ramblings

TOW I Was Brutally Attacked!

Do you ever have those moments where you’re hearing a story, or watching a movie/tv show, and you’re like … I would never do that! Why are you so stupid? Like, a great example would be horror movies. You watch the idiots go TOWARDS the noise and you’re like… why… didn’t you just call the cops and get the hell out of there? Right? But the thing is, I’ve learned, is that you have no idea how you would actually react until the moment comes.

I was trying to finish Stranger Things the other night and all I could focus on is how I would not be good in this situation. I can just go ahead and guarantee you that, I don’t need to be in the situation to tell you how I’d react. I’d cry and just like… move. You know? Will goes missing and I’m over there like, “OKAY BYE, Y’ALL!” And then I’m somewhere in Canada crying more because I probably would die anywhere other than Texas because apparently there’s such a thing as “snow” and frankly I don’t even know what that is. So, yeah.

ANYWAYS… this whole train of weird thought caused me to remember this ridiculous story of when I was brutally attacked in my home one summer.

Other story title possibilities could include, but are not limited to:

I’m Being Dramatic, I Wasn’t Even a Little Attacked
That Time I Way Overreacted
I Will Never Be the Hero in a Movie

Without further ado:

Once upon a time, during my first year of marriage, my husband got a job 5 hours away. He had to move and live with my mother, while I was trapped in a lease and was forced to live on my own without my family or a roommate for the very first time in my life. Naturally, that meant that my husband’s cousin and I took our opportunity to have a Harry Potter themed marathon, complete with themed food and sorting my obnoxious dog into Slytherin House.

Stop judging us. So, anyway, we were having a nerdy blast and suddenly my front door handle jiggles and I realize that my door isn’t locked. In walks this giant man that takes up my entire doorway. Before I have time to even process what is happening, I grab a weapon and start screaming and running TOWARDS THIS GIANT MAN. He, of course, freaks out and starts backing out of the doorway and running down the stairs.

… and that’s when I hear it…

“Dad! Wrong apartment!” 

Yep. YEEEEPPPPP. It was a 50 year old father of the girl downstairs who had just moved in. And my weapon? Are you ready? I feel like you aren’t ready…


I made it black and white to appear more terrifying… did it work?

So, there you have it. That’s my ridiculous reaction. Do you have one? Have you ever reacted in a way that you did NOT expect to? I have a friend who always jokes that she’s the perfect person to have around about 3 hours after the fact, that’s when she has the best response or plan to the situation. I’m good after the fact too, especially with witty commentary.

Like/Comment/Share/Tell me your funny reactions to situations!


4 thoughts on “TOW I Was Brutally Attacked!

  1. I once had a complete meltdown (I’m talking, on the flight or being a blubbering mess) because I didn’t have rice for the stir fry I do desperately craved. I was heavily pregnant, that’s my defense. Oh, I also failed to mention that we lived within walking distance of a grocery store. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I probably shouldn’t be admitting any of these incidents in a public forum LOL but here we go. I am apparently unreasonably aggressive in certain confrontational situations. Like the one time I confronted a man who was trying to steal my car. I blocked him from getting out of the car by standing close to the door while screaming at him. Or the time I chased down the hit-and-run driver that rear-ended me only to end the chase with 4, very large, men getting out of the car. I was alone in the car! Or the other time when I caught some idiots smoking weed in the field behind my apartment and I stood there on the balcony staring at them with a look on my face that said “yeah. I’m watching you. I know what you were doing.” If I was a big, buff, martial artist that could take down any opponent with a single kick (Chuck Norris style), it would be perfectly fine for me to act like this. But in ALL of these situations, I was NOT equipped to defend myself in any way. Seriously, something snaps in my brain and all reasonable and logical thought just disappears. What is wrong with me???? SMH

    Liked by 1 person

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